There was always room for one more in Alexa’s childhood home. Another plate at the table, another blanket on the couch, another person who needed a little care and kindness. Growing up, it wasn’t uncommon to wake up and find a makeshift bed in the living room for one of her or her siblings’ friends who needed a safe place to stay for a while. Her mom always seemed to know when someone at school didn’t have a winter coat or warm boots, and she’d quietly show up with what was needed. No questions asked, no recognition wanted.
That quiet, steadfast compassion became the rhythm of Alexa’s life. It planted something deep in her heart; a sense that love isn’t limited by blood or circumstance, and that family is something you can choose to build, piece by piece, through care and commitment.
So, when Alexa met Kyle in college, she didn’t waste time hiding her dream. Two days after they met, she told him plainly, “I want a big family, maybe six kids. I want to foster, maybe adopt. That’s my life plan.” He laughed and said, “That’s crazy,” but eventually he decided that’s what he wanted too.
Today, the Lajimodiere home overflows with the beautiful chaos of that dream made real: the sound of seven children’s laughter, the occasional sibling squabble, and the quiet strength of two people who have turned compassion into a calling.
They didn’t begin fostering with the intent to adopt. But after opening their home to 40 children over the years, some for a few days and some much longer, Alexa and Kyle have built a family that embodies what it means to love without limits. Their story is one of heartbreak and healing, of loss and immeasurable joy, and of the profound belief that every child deserves a place to belong.
The spark
For Alexa, the idea of fostering wasn’t just an interest that developed over time. It was something that felt built into her. Her decision to pursue social work in college wasn’t coincidental; it was an extension of how she’d always seen the world. She wanted to help children and families through hard times, and to be part of something that brought stability where there had been chaos.
Through her undergraduate studies, Alexa learned more about the foster care system; the beauty and complexity of it, and the deep humanity that often goes unseen behind case files and court dates.
Kyle’s perspective deepened their shared mission. Raised primarily by his grandparents and having spent time in foster care himself, he understood both the experiences of the children and the struggles of the parents trying to overcome trauma, addiction, and generational cycles of pain. He recognized that stepping into fostering wasn’t just about caring for children in the moment, but also about showing compassion to the parents working to rebuild their lives.
Together, they made a simple promise: to open their home whenever they could, to love deeply but hold loosely, and to always support reunification when possible. They didn’t know where the path would lead, only that they wanted to walk it with open hearts.
The journey
Alexa and Kyle never set out to adopt. Their goal as foster parents was to offer a safe, nurturing home for as long as a child needed, whether that meant a weekend, a few months or until their family could safely reunify. “We always wanted to support reunification first,” Alexa said. “I never want my kids to grow up and wonder if that option was really explored. I want them to know we tried.”
She keeps careful records of every child who has stayed in their home. It’s a notebook filled with names, birthdays, dates, and memories. “Even if we only had them for a day or two, I want to remember,” she explained. “Maybe someday, we’ll have an opportunity to connect. I want to be able to say, ‘Yes, I remember you.’”
Over the years, that notebook has grown to include 40 names, and another 120 from calls they had to decline when they simply couldn’t say yes. Each represents a story, a family, a moment of need.
But four names stand apart. These are the children who became part of the Lajimodiere family forever. Each story is uniquely beautiful, and uniquely hard.
Ava’s story: the first goodbye that became forever
Ava was the first. When Alexa and Kyle received the call, they were told it would be a short-term placement, maybe a week before she’d return home. That week turned into a year, and Ava was able to reunify.
But a few weeks later, she returned. And then again, after another short reunification. Each time, Alexa and Kyle opened their door and their hearts. “It was heartbreaking and hopeful all at once,” Alexa said. “We were rooting so hard for her mom.”
Eventually, Ava’s mother made a brave and selfless decision. Recognizing that she couldn’t give her daughter the life she deserved, she asked the social worker to reach out to Alexa and Kyle about adoption. “She loved her daughter enough to want better for her,” Alexa said softly. Two years after that first week-long placement, Ava’s adoption was finalized.
Soraya’s story: a safe haven and a second chance
Soraya’s story began hundreds of miles away. Born with a rare metabolic disorder, her biological parents tried to care for her but struggled to meet her complex medical needs. When they learned that North Dakota had one of the most compassionate Safe Haven laws in the country allowing the surrender of a child up to 1-year-old, they made the heart-wrenching decision to bring her to Fargo.
“She was surrendered under Safe Haven law here,” Alexa explained. “Her parents did what they thought was best for her.” Soraya’s medical needs were significant, but with home health nurses and specialized medical care, she’s defied expectations in the Lajimodiere home. Her adoption was finalized 11 months after she arrived.
Alexa has advocated fiercely to keep North Dakota’s Safe Haven law as it is. “I’ll never stop fighting for that.”
KJ and Scarlett: keeping siblings together
The call for KJ came with a warning: a 2-year-old boy with significant behavioral challenges caused by trauma. It would be hard. Alexa hesitated, as anyone might – but something in her heart said yes. Something else told her to ask a question: “Does he have any siblings?”
He did. A little sister named Scarlett. “I said we could take KJ if we could take Scarlett too,” Alexa said. “They needed to be together.”
It wasn’t an easy journey. Both children had experienced instability and repeated reunifications. Alexa and Kyle poured everything into helping them feel safe. Even with no parental involvement, the adoption process took a year and a half.
The heart of family – growing together
Life in the Lajimodiere home hums with constant motion; the pitter-patter of little feet, the chatter of seven distinct personalities, and the comforting rhythm of a household where love is lived out loud. The family’s days are full, and everyday is a juggling act between two parents who’ve learned to trade off, step in and step back when needed. Alexa is incredibly grateful for their support system made up of family, friends, and Soraya’s wonderful home health team.
Alexa has grown deeply in the process. “I’ve become more patient,” she said. “And I’ve learned how to recognize when I need to take a break and let Kyle step in. We’ve learned what each of us is good at,” she said with a smile. “And we give each other grace for the rest.” Together, along with their support system of incredible grandparents and a wonderful babysitter, they’ve refined a balance that works. Enlisting the support of their village makes it possible to be present at things like music programs and sports.
Their older kids enjoy helping to care for the younger ones, but Alexa and Kyle are careful not to expect it. They want all of their kids to be able to be kids. Everett, the oldest at 8, loves babies and often asks to hold the youngest siblings. Bennett, 6, thrives in the chaos, and Callen, 4, brings endless curiosity to the mix. “They’re learning what it means to show up for others,” Alexa said. “They’ve seen that family isn’t about who you’re born to. It’s about how you love.”
Organization has become a necessary strength. With seven kids ranging from toddlers to grade schoolers, the family van - a twelve-passenger - is a fixture of their lives. Alexa jokes that the best part is being able to rearrange the seats depending on “who’s getting along this week.”
Even in a big family, connection remains at the heart of everything. Some of the kids have naturally strong bonds, like Callen and Ava, who are just six months apart and often mistaken for twins. Others have days when they need space. Alexa handles it all with a steady mix of humor, structure and empathy. “Siblings are annoying sometimes,” she tells them. “But you still have to be kind and respectful. That’s true no matter how you came into this family.”
Her biological children have grown up with a deep awareness that not every child has the same start in life. Once, when one of Alexa’s children got hurt at school by another student, they said thoughtfully, “I think sometimes things at his house are kind of sad. That’s why he’s mean.” Alexa’s heart swelled. For a young child to understand that, to see past behavior to the pain underneath, is empathy at a level some adults never learn.
Every child who enters their home, whether for a day or a lifetime, is loved and remembered. Alexa’s notebooks, full of names and stories, are a tangible reminder that every child mattered. “There isn’t a limit to my love for children,” she said. “Even the ones who aren’t here anymore still have a place in my heart.”
Through it all, Alexa and Kyle have learned to show love in ways that are equal but not identical, tailoring their care to each child’s needs, personality and history. They’ve discovered that fostering and adopting is as much about listening and adapting as it is about guiding and nurturing.
“It’s a journey of constant learning,” Alexa said. “Some days are overwhelming. Some days are heartbreaking. And some days, the ones where a child smiles or takes their first step toward healing, are indescribably beautiful.”
Wisdom for others – Alexa’s message to future adoptive parents
Through years of fostering and adopting, Alexa has gained insights she wishes she could have shared with herself at the beginning of her journey. Her advice is rooted in patience, compassion, and openness.
“Be open-minded,” she said. “It’s okay if you don’t feel an immediate connection or love for a child. That bond takes time to grow. What matters most is your willingness to show up consistently, to meet their needs, and to honor their story.”
She encourages parents to learn about a child’s history, heritage, and culture - even if the child doesn’t have much knowledge themselves. “Respect the child’s story, respect their parents,” she said. “It’s not about judging the parents. It’s about making sure the child knows they are loved, and that their life matters.”
Her words carry both encouragement and realism: fostering and adopting is challenging, sometimes heart-wrenching work, but the rewards are profound.
“Every child deserves a place to belong,” Alexa said. “If you’re willing to open your heart, even just a little, you can change a life. Maybe more than one. And that change comes back to you in ways you’ll never forget.”
The power of love, redefined
For Alexa, the story is about more than numbers or names in a notebook. It’s about the children who have walked through fear to safety, who have gone from being unsure of love to knowing they belong. It’s about the parents who couldn’t meet all their children’s needs but whose love and effort are honored, not judged. And it’s about the family that thrives together, learning empathy, patience and kindness in real time.
Together, these stories form the heart of the Lajimodiere family. It’s a living testament to resilience, compassion and love without conditions. Every adoption carried both joy and heartbreak. Every child came with their own story, their own history, their own lessons to teach. Through their unwavering commitment, Alexa and Kyle remind us that the power of love isn’t just in keeping a family together. It’s opening your heart wide enough to welcome a child who needs it. And when that love is so freely given, it has the power to transform not just a home, but every life it touches.